It’s been a little over 4 years since my last post and so much has happened. I suppose I should catch you up, huh?
Well, My youngest son has been doing well with his diabetes. He was put on a pump last year and his numbers have dropped dramatically (YAY OMNIPOD!!) He was put on a CGM and it’s, literally, been a lifesaver. We’ve only had one visit to the hospital for DKA, about a month ago and that was because of me being at work, moving and his insulin being at the new apartment when he was at the old one! Not my greatest moment in this adventure.
Speaking of the new apartment, we moved 6 weeks ago. We made the decision to move right after my husband died. Oh… you didn’t know, did you? I’m sorry, I should have told you before. Yeah, he died January 27th, 2018. Almost 6 months ago. He passed 10 days before baby bear turned 15. Baby bear said he’s not having any more birthdays because he doesn’t want me to die. Anyway, what killed my husband was a toxic mixture of medications. It was ruled an accident.
Baby bear has handled his fathers death well, I think. It’s hard to tell because he’s such a closed person, emotionally. I can’t tell if he’s being strong for me or if he’s really not FEELING anything. It’s so very hard to see his grief through my own. Honestly, if it weren’t for him and my new job (Yeah, I had to go back to work after 15 years of being a stay at home mom!) I’d be a basket case. Someone asked me how I do it and I honestly had to answer “I have no choice. My son needs me” Some days I break down at work and just cry for hours, silent tears coursing down my face as I’m dealing with customers over the phone. It sucks but people at my job are…. well they leave me alone when I’m crying so I guess that’s good.
MY elder children are gone from the house now. They are starting out on the rest of their lives. They struggle and come home for respite occasionally but, they are trying. Right now they are homeless and alternate between my floor and my mothers place, couch surfing with friends and the occasional stay at the motel. I worry about them but, it’s better this way. I have MORE than enough to deal with between my stuff and Baby Bears issues.Cold hearted as it sounds, it’s NOT easy for me.
Anyway, I gotta get ready to go to my second job. MY little stroke patient needs a shower and I’m the ONLY one who she trusts to give her one.
Before I go, here’s my theme song for this year.