NEVER before coffee!

Something that I cannot understand is this. After 10 years of marriage, how can someone NOT know that you DON’T bring large/tiresome/constantly annoying crap to ones beloveds attention when they haven’t even wiped sleep from their eyes or had a cuppa joe? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS!!??

First thing Mike did this morning was meet me,  bleery eyed and staggering into the kitchen, with “we have an issue” Not good morning, not how are you, no kiss and NO COFFEE! WTF? Ok, I’m awake, sort of. He starts ranting about Sean and Minecraft. The minute I hear that word, I look at him and say “not now” and start making my coffee. apparently he didn’t hear the growl because he began his rant. I slowly stirred the creamers and sugar in as I half listened yo him. When he called Sean into the room, I picked up my cup and silently came back to my room.

I can still hear him in my room as I lay back down. I’m in MASSIVE pain so I cover up and start to cry. In comes hubs and kiddo, We converse and it’s not pretty. It escalates to the point that I, still laying in bed, suddenly snap. I SCREAM at them, something I NEVER do.

After a minute of dead silence, all the men in my family staring at me like I have grown a third head, I say in my softest voice “there’s a spider on the ceiling.” at which point, Sean flees the room with a scream, Dan scrambles off the bed and flees the room and brings back a fly swatter. “get him dad!!” He yells. Now, my husband is legally blind so he gets up on the end of the bed and is standing there saying “guide me”  while the spider merrily begins spinning a thread, letting himself down onto DH upturned face. It lands on his cheek and, flailing and falling, DH slaps his face and lands on the bed.

During all this, I’m sitting on the bed, took a pain pill and am drinking my coffee quietly. After DH gets up, he looks at me and frowns a moment before saying “there wasn’t any spider, was there? I shrugged and said, in a soft, peaceful voice  ” It cleared my room, didn’t it? Now get out so I can drink my damned coffee in peace.”

A half hour later he brought me homemade oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar and a carafe of hazelnut coffee, already creamed and sugared.


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