Fibro, a real Pain

For me, it’s a fact. For years, to my doctors, it was fiction. I self diagnosed in 2003, right after a bout with meningitis, a gallbladder removal and West Nile virus. All at the same time, three months after I’d given birth. In that year, after the WNV, I was diagnosed with Pulmonary edema, congestive heart failure, central sleep apnea and diabetes. I was 32 years old.

After the WNV, I would wake up in excruciating pain every morning. I forgot a lot, got confused and weak. I ended up using a walker that had a seat within 3 months because it was very hard to support my balance and I had to rest often. I was put on oxygen because of the pulmonary edema and still use it 9 years later. Every time they try to take me off it, I get pneumonia. Since 2003, I’ve also been diagnosed (recently) with Arterial sclerosis of the legs and kidneys. I am down 45% in kidney function.

I’m tired. Tired of being sick, tired of seeing doctors every month and taking meds all the time. I’m always in pain or drugged to the point of stupid. I’m angry at this disease because it’s STOLEN MY LIFE!. I’m done. I just wish there was a doctor out there that knew what he was doing and could get RID of this! I want me back, my husband wants his wife back and my kids NEED their mother, not some grouchy, half stupid bear living in their house and growling at them. I want to be able to take my kids for walks more than a block. I want to play with them, baseball. soccer, football ANYTHING without feeling like a freight train hit me for a week afterwards. I want to be a MOM damn it, that’s why I had kids!!

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