Someone stole my spoons!!

I’m having one of those days.

You know the ones. You wake up to pain so bad that your breath catches and it takes every ounce of willpower just to get out of bed to pee.

EVERYTHING hurts today, my skin feels tighter than a kettledrum, my eyes are dry and itchy, I have a headache and I’m nauseous. Just having the blanket over me is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Good thing about that is its lubing up my eyes and they aren’t so itchy!

First thing this morning I fell out of bed (literally) and crawled to the bathroom.Velcro was trying to help me, whining and whimpering before running out and fetching Mike who came in just in time to help me climb onto the toilet. Of course he was freaking out, asking if I was ok, if I’d fallen ect. I reassured him I was “fine” and was just crawling on the floor because I was looking for my spoons. He looked at me blankly for a moment and shook his head “Sheesh, if you needed a spoon, you could have rung your bell….”

I shuffle out to the kitchen and struggle with the coffee pot before he takes it from me and pours a cup of coffee for me. I add the cream and sugar and stand there talking to him for about five minutes then shuffle back to the bedroom.

Have you ever noticed the massive effort it takes to get into bed?

We have a water-bed. Now, most people say I should get a “regular bed” because it’s “better for the back” Problem is, I can’t tolerate a regular bed. Too many pressure points. It’s AGONY for me to lay on a regular bed. We tried last year, for two weeks, to change to a regular bed. We tried everything to make it more comfortable. Egg crate foam mattress pads, duvet covers a two-inch thick, down filled comforter, folded in half. Nothing helped and I ended up in tears every night because I hurt so bad just from laying on the bed! We went back to the water bed and I slept, pain-free.

Anyway, climbing into bed on days like today is a momentous feat of astronomical proportions. First the hands then, right leg up and in, then FALL onto the bed and crawl up to the pillows. Easy peasy right? Yeah, riiight. It takes me a full 5 MINUTES to get from the fall onto the pillows. I lay there, sobbing, for four minutes.

I took a Dilaudid, my stupid pills, and waited. I call them my stupid pills because they make me stupid. My brain kinda goes to Bermuda to visit the Triangle for a while. For about ten minutes after it starts to kick in, I am relatively pain-free and can think. I try to be ready for that window of opportunity to get my meds in me, eat something and get back into bed before my brain finishes packing for its trip.

Sometimes I make it.

Sometimes I don’t

Today I didn’t and… well.. let’s just say that Mike got a surprise when he went to find the oatmeal and milk.

I hear him in the kitchen talking to Sean. Sean comes in a minute or so later with a grin on his face.

Sean “mom, what did you make for breakfast?”

me “oatmeal, why?”

Sean “Dad asked me where the milk was. I told him the fridge and he said it wasn’t”

me, raising an eyebrow “and….?”

Sean “I found it…”

He’s looking at me and giggling.

Me “um… was it in the fridge?”

Sean “nope, it was in the cabinet. The oatmeal box was in the fridge”

*facepalm*

At least I didn’t put the dog food in my bowl and feed him my oatmeal….

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