Ten bodies lay within the theater today. Ten spirits wandering the darkened seats, wondering what happened and why everyone left them behind. Wondering why someone had to kill them on a night that was supposed to be fun filled and uneventful.
A young man made a decision last night that has devastated a nation. A city. MY CITY. The safe place that I call home. A place that my children and others should be free to live safely. A twenty some year old, bright, shy man decided to destroy people for reasons known only to him. Now we are left with only one basic question.
What would make a brilliant young man, a doctor in training, someone that, from all outside indications, was going to be HELPING people, SAVING people do something like this? WHY would he hurt people like this? What warped his mind so that he would destroy others? What would make him sit in his apartment nightly, setting up a booby trap of explosives and God only knows what else for the police to find? He wore an entire setup of protective gear. He was dressed for a battle yet gave himself up without a fight. Why? What message did he want to send? Was there a reason or did he just pick a night and go with it? So many questions, so little known about this boy.
We were going to go to that showing last night but my fibro was bad yesterday and the boys didn’t want to go without me.
For the first time in my life, I am thanking God for my Fibro!
My children, both boys, did not hear any of this from the news. My husband and I waited till after lunch and sat them down to talk with them. We told them what happened and assured them, immediately, that the man was arrested and they were safe. They asked some minor questions, those above, and I told them what I knew. There were a lot of reassurances and hugs and it ended with my husband and I telling the boys that if they needed to talk, we were open to talking.
I think that in instances like these, open communication is imperative. Our children need to know that they are safe and cared for. They need to be allowed to speak openly about their feelings and fears so they can get through them. Even if they aren’t directly affected, they will be exposed to the horrors of the world and the safer they can feel, the better for them, emotionally.
We’ve spent the afternoon cuddling and thanking whatever Higher Power was watching over us and those that weren’t there last night, for whatever reason. We’ve prayed for those survivors and the families of those victims that are no longer with us today. I think we’re assessing our lives and what it all means.
I know I am.
Thank you God for my fibro and another day to suffer. At least I know, when I’m in pain, that I’m still alive.