Well, hubby came home on Monday night and Tuesday it was better. S did chores and was doing great, D was as well. I was in heaven. Wednesday the therapist came and we decided to do couples counseling/ parenting classes for a while because hubby and I have TOTALLY different ways of parenting. I’m the allower, he’s the punisher. I “allow the kids to get away with things” while hubby lectures, makes and enforces rules and is demanding. He’s the one that grounds the kids, I give “in the moment” punishments.
For instance: S downloaded an illegal copy of a newly released game and we got an email from our provider about it, complete with threat to remove out internet access the next time it happens. This was a VERY serious infraction. Hubby grounded him, taking away computer access for a week. I went along with it because I want the boys to know that I back hubby with decisions like that. If it had been up to me, there would have been a different punishment. I would have made him clean the garage.
Anyway, by Wednesday night, S had gotten into a huge argument with hubby and was sent to his room for an hour. When I asked what the problem was, hubby said S had refused to do dishes when, in actuality, hubby had asked while S was in the middle of a battle on his game and S had said “just a sec dad” and hubby, being the impatient type, had taken that to be a defiant response and had blown up. He ended up getting mad, did the dishes even after S had said he’d do them. Hubby is like that. He expects the kids to jump at the snap of a finger, I know you have to tell 9 and 13 year old boys numerous times to get things done. I understand being in the middle of a battle and being snapped at to do something. Hubby has done the same thing to me with the laundry. He is anal and expects things done the first time he tells us to do them and refuses to remind people or refocus them when they get sidetracked.
Hubby will not tell the boys to turn off the television/ Xbox/ whatever in order to keep them focused. I have no problem with it. Yesterday he was getting pissy because S had been on the Xbox before doing his dishes. I heard him doing dishes, came out of my room (half asleep because they woke me up fighting) and told S to get off the game, hubby to get the HELL out of the kitchen and the dishes got done, by S, in less than 5 minutes. Hubby can’t get it through his thick head that the reason they “refuse” to do chores for him is that if they wait long enough, he will do the chores for them. I REFUSE to do their chores for them and make them stop what they are doing and get the chores done, THEN they can do what they want. I SERIOUSLY wish hubby would learn to do that! It would make life SOOO much better!
Thursday was nice. Hubby cooked the whole meal himself, complete with mesquite smoked turkey (omg the best turkey he’s EVER made!!!) and Key lime pie. My mom and brother were over and we all got along wonderfully. While hubby was cooking, the boys were busy cleaning and I spent the majority of the day asleep. I swear I hate my fibro/ CFS! There are days I can’t sleep then days I can’t stay awake, days of screaming pain and days my body feels heavy and numb and nothing wants to work right. Thank Heavens I have such an understanding family!!!
I’m very sleepy today so I think I’ll take a nap. If my pain lets me…..
Today, I’m just hoping for peace and quiet