Reflections on a snowy spring day

I found a video today that hit me, making me remember how completely exhausted and low I was, even recently. Thought I’d share. Since I suck at HTML, I’ll just give you the link lol.

14 years ago I was widowed at the age of 29. Three months later I was a new mother. I was homeless with a newborn, living in my Mustang, the only possession I owned. Truthfully if it hadn’t been for my son, I would have totally given up. I thought it couldn’t get worse. Then my son got sick and was in ICU, breaths away from death.

I remember the day after he was admitted. I’d been up for three days, worrying about my son. I sat in the lounge chair in his room, praying to a God that I’d not spoken to in years, asking Him why. Why He had to hate me so much that He’d take my husband and then give me a beautiful baby, only to take him as well. I was angry, hurt, desperate for answers and none were coming. I ended up crying myself to sleep.

In my dream, I saw my husband and our son who had died, years before my husband, when he was only 18 months old. They smiled at me with such peace in their faces that it hurt me to look at them. A voice said to me “They are with me and all is well. I will not take another from you now. He will recover and you will become a mother again as well. Trust me and know that I love you, no matter how painful life becomes”

I woke up, many hours later, and looked on my son. He was still as sick as ever but my heart was at ease. I knew he would be fine. Four days later, they released him from the hospital and we went back to the place I’d been parking my car. It turned out that three days after we entered the hospital, there was a gang war of some sort in that area and, had my car been in its place, we may have been right in the middle of a hailstorm of bullets.

I think there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives, regardless of how much we DON’T want them to happen. With Mike on the road to recovery (no hospital visits in weeks!!) and Dans easy transition to being diabetic, I’m counting my blessings today.

And my sick baby? He turned 13 in November and had his first kiss a few weeks ago. He’s playing the trumpet like nobody’s business and hangs out with his friends. Oh, and he eats a truckload of food a week!! Typical teen.


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