When I think about this insidious disease, I am astounded by what I find. I have to say that my thinking is sometimes a little… unique. I’m trying to focus on the positive today so, here are a few things I’m grateful for that I would never have thought of except for my wonderful friend Purple Law Lady at Fibromodem.
1. I’m grateful I can’t tolerate the snow and cold weather anymore. I’m saving over a thousand dollars a year with no ski trips, no one asks me to go Christmas shopping with them saving me hundreds every year!
2. No one asks me to go running with them anymore, leaving my phone free for the collection agencies full access to me and I don’t have the excuse of being gone and missing their calls. See 1, this is where my “free cash” is going. “sigh”
3. I’m grateful for the opportunity to home school my son. He’s an amazing child, smart ass like me and is getting a better education than his public schooled older brother. He’s in 4th doing 8th grade math and reads at college level. He just sucks at taking those stupid TCAPs so, we don’t. Screw them. My older son skipped on them in protest this year. I’m proud to say that he protested at the capital and I was able to video it!
4. When my other went through her mastectomy, I was there to help her. She stayed at my house to recover for an amazing 6 weeks that I’m so grateful for the opportunity to take care of her. She’s a wonderful woman who I am so happy to announce…. I’m just like her.
5. I’ve been blessed to spend time with my adopted sister who I met because of an online game. She’s a wonderful woman, quirky, funny and… dare I say it… too much like me.
6. My father and I have started talking again after 15 years apart. So much time eased the hatred and fear I had in me because of the abuse he put me through. Therapy for most that time helped too. He’s in therapy now as well and, the most important thing to me, he’s admitted what he did was wrong and apologized for “being such an asshole”. That’s all I ever wanted, an apology.
7. The chance to get to know my oldest son and be there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on after his wife miscarried. I cried with him. After being out of his life from the age of 2 to 16, it’s been a process of forgiveness for us both. Him forgiving me for abandoning him though it was his father that kept him from me (something he never knew) and me forgiving myself for not being strong enough to fight for my right to see my son.
I have done so much more with my life since getting sick. I have to tell people I AM working. I’m a full-time mother and wife, housekeeper, nurse, therapist, barber and more. I’ve been here to take care of people, actually BE HERE for my kids and, you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world. I embrace my pain and other symptoms and just be me. Something I wasn’t able to be….. in my other life.